I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
