C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
