You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
