I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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