Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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