What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
