What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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