i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
