This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
