it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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