Just cropdusted the office
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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