You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
