I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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