I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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