Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
