Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
