Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize