I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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