just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
