dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
