It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
