that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
