She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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