"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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