I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
