so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize