she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
