ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
babies were throwing up all over the place
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
