Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
