i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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