Rock
Scissors
Fuck
two words...techno handjob
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
