Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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