Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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