Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
