Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
