Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
