the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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