she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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