He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she looked like the before picture.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
