I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
