She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
