Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
