I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
