whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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