That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
