I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
