All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
