jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
