he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
