yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
the liver wants what the liver wants
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
