did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
