yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
