Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
