did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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