My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
