dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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