so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
