All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
