I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
