i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize