no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
