He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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