conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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