You're completely useless in the revolution.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
