Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Someone shattered a urinal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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