you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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