getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
