erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
