Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
wow bdsm is so cute
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